Preview

We recently returned from a fun trip to Utah to spend time with my family. We enjoyed a short hike, among other things. More info. and pictures will follow. This post is just to get a picture out there to make me feel better about my previous two posts containing no pictures.

Honestly, does Abby even look pregnant in this picture? I find it hard to believe she is halfway through!

The Lost Petersons

Neal and I enjoy watching a good series together. During the Christmas season right after Sally was born we had a lot of free time and a little baby that slept a lot. With the help of Neal’s family, we discovered the “Horatio Hornblower” series (a BBC work) and dove in. It was at times cheesy and predictable, but fun just the same. We enjoyed the down time together, and would work together to get things done around the house and with Sally so we could start each next episode. The next Christmas season we got into season 1 of “24”, which I initially resisted but ended up getting hooked on. Over the past few years we have also taken on “The Lost Room” (a short series, something that Neal’s mom lent to us), “Crusoe” (an NBC mini-series), “The Winds of War” (an ABC miniseries from the 80s), “The Flame Trees of Thika” (a British miniseries) and “Love Comes Softly” (from Hallmark, and the only series we never finished).

Our most recent series of interest is “LOST”. I’m not sure why we started, but after just one episode of season 1, we both wanted to continue. While we didn’t watch every night, most evenings we’d watch at least one episode (and sometimes two or three). It was fun looking forward to that time together in the evenings, and fun to talk about the story and characters together. We were both motivated to take care of our responsibilities as quickly as possible in the evenings so we could have more time to watch together. After season 1 was over, we took a few months off and then tackled season 2. While we both really enjoyed seasons 1 and 2, we’ve decided not to continue with the rest of the seasons. In addition to feeling guilty about spending so much time in front of the tv night after night, I didn’t like turning a blind eye to the raciness that was starting to creep into the show just because I wanted to see what happened next.

So now, without watching “LOST” in the evenings, our evenings feel a bit, well, lost! They are certainly a lot less fun and a lot less predictable. It isn’t that we currently do nothing together in the evenings—we do. We enjoy crossword puzzles, working on our finances, playing games, or just talking, but we also commonly get pulled into our own responsibilities and interests and spend less time together than we’d like. I work quite a bit for my job in the evenings, and Neal always has things he can do for work—such as reading the millions of medical journals/anesthesia textbooks that the department would like him to read. I suppose we are just in a bit of a rut right now and the solution is just planning (or a good dose of fun spontaneity, which neither of us have ever been great at), but often lately while I’m sitting at my work computer realizing that the evening has slipped away without much spouse time, I long for the evenings with LOST on the tv, Neal and my side, and a bowl of ice cream in my lap.

While I could take the easy route, (cave in and go get season 3 from the library), I’m looking for ideas and suggestions about other series that are not quite so long (or addicting, or racy), but more especially about other ways for Neal and I to spend time together in the evenings that we’ll be as excited about as we were about “LOST.” Any ideas? (Ideas involving exercise are especially welcome. Goodness knows I need more of that!).

My Life is Good!

I give credit to Nacho Libre for the title of this post. Did I ever mention that I love that movie?

It's 10:10, Neal is on-call at the hospital, I'm fighting the urge to go and get myself some icecream, and there are a million things I could blog about--or I could just go to bed. Going to bed sounds nice...but no, I told myself that I had to post SOMETHING today, so post I will.

A while ago some friends and I were talking about watching the clock when it is about time for the husband to come home from work. Someone mentioned (perhaps it was me) that it is hard to "kill time" with the children at the end of the day and everyone wants to eat dinner. Since that conversation I've thought a lot about "killing time." The more I think about it, the more I don't like the concept. I'm trying to focus more on living in the here-and-now and enjoying it.

I'm often guilty of wishing for "better days": days when I have a bigger house, days when I have more time with Neal, days when my children will respect my need for a little alone time, and so on and so forth. Although wishing and hoping for positive changes isn't necessarily a bad thing, I'm staring to fear that all of the mental energy I spend on wishing will take away from my ability to love, teach, and have fun with my children today.

Today was a day in which I could have easily had the "killing time" mentality, yet I tried hard to avoid it and had a great day with my kids. As I mentioned earlier, Neal was on-call today (meaning he went into work at 6 AM and will be off at 6 AM tomorrow morning), and it also happened to be stake conference Sunday. I was quite nervous about how things would go at stake conference without Neal there to help keep the children happy, especially since conference fell right in the middle of Austin's nap time. Both children behaved exceptionally well. Austin didn't sleep, but he was happy, pleasant, and quiet (aside from one minor melt-down which easily passed). Sally played make-believe with two crayons for a good portion of the conference (I have no idea what she was imagining, but she was happy, quiet, and stayed in her seat).

I was also worried about how things would go this afternoon (Austin's nap schedule would be messed up, Sally would get bored and ask to watch a movie which doesn't fly at my house on Sunday, etc.), but my worries were in vain. Austin had a great nap (after crying himself to sleep for 25 minutes), Sally played nicely by herself for quite a while, and we read from the Friend magazine for a good chunk of time. We had a nice dinner together (Sally loved her food and asked for more!), had fun at bath-time, and made "marshmallow sandwiches" for dessert (which are really just s'mores under the broiler. Sally out of the blue asked me if she could have a "marshmallow sandwich", and I'm not sure how she got that idea).

I was amazed at how the day flew by. Although I love having Neal at home, life doesn't fall apart when he's gone. I think my children are delightful, and I love being with them every day. I want to do a better job of enjoying the simple things that I do with my children and taking advantage of the time I have to teach them, praise them, love them, and laugh with them.

I'm still brianstorming about how to achieve this (some days I do quite well, other days I fail miserably). If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

This post will have to have a part 2, because I'd like to expound on the title of this post. Hopefully it won't take me a month! For now, that ice cream is sounding pretty good...

5 Years!

A few weeks ago Neal and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. After many grand ideas and schemes we decided to have a quiet, simple celebration--we dropped the kids off at a babysitter's house and went out to dinner. We enjoyed a quiet and tasty meal and good uninterruped converstaion at Lidias, an Italian place downtown. I can't remember the last time I had freshly made pasta, but I'll sure remember this pasta (not to mention to Ceasar salad and gnocchi)!

Here's a look back at the last 5 years:

Year 0: Just married and ready to take on medical school and my first real job. We had no idea what we were getting into!


Year 1: Reunited in Utah (for Sarah and Greg's wedding) after Neal's journeyings to Alabama for 5 weeks for comissioned officer training and 10 days in El Salvador for a med school research trip. Ready to buy a house and tackle year 2 of medical school.


Year 2: Pleasingly pregnant with Sally and enjoying a family get-together with the Dicksons. Abby had just gone through the temple and was ready to head out on her mission.


Year 3: Happily together again after Neal's rotation in Philmont (New Mexico) and enjoying some KU action before sending Neal off to San Antonio for yet another rotation. Sally spent her first day with a non-family babysitter. It was big for us (me).


Year 4: After two more away rotations, Dr. Peterson (yes, he was done with medical school at last and in the midst of residency) joined me for 20 hours (5 of which were on our anniversary) in Utah for Abby and Scott's wedding. Austin was baking but not very big, and Sally was talking up a storm and conducting a self-guided tour of temple square.


And here we are (sorry, no picture--I had some taken by a friend but they aren't ready yet, and sadly all of our snapshots lately are of our children), with two mobile children, still in our same house (much improved, might I add), and in year 2 of residency. Life is good, and the future looks even better. Thanks, Neal for a great first 5. I can't want to see what another 5 will bring!

The Petersons Lately: A Survey

Just a quick look at a few highlights of the last few months:

Back in April, during Neal's final vacation week of intern year, we took a spontaneous road trip down to Houston to visit Neal's sister Sarah, her husband Greg, and their adorable baby boy Luke. Neal's sister Bonnie was there, too. The car trip there was not fun (both kids were well-behaved but both were unable to sleep at night, so less than 2 hours from our destination we forked over $100 for a few hours of sleep and a big dose of sanity--totally worth it!), but the visit was. We enjoyed playing games, eating Sarah's good food, watching movies, talking, going to the temple (thanks, Bonnie, for babysitting!), and going to the park and beach.

Sally, Sarah, and I made glamorous jewelry out of some pop beads. I'm totally getting some when Sally is a little older (and if she doesn't play with them, I will!).


We loved the park and had fun feeding the ducks, playing Frisbee, and swinging.


Despite losing Sarah and following the wrong car (it was just like Sarah's!), we made it to the beach in Galveston. Sally loved it. Thanks, Sarah, for your patience!


Austin loved the beach a little less than Sally, but he didn't complain.


Back in KC, we checked out the free Clifford exhibit at Crown Center. Sally was so excited to meet Clifford! I thought she would be scared, but I guess she was expecting a big red dog, afterall.


The best family picture we could come up with.


Sally enjoyed dressing up as the mail carrier on Birdwell Island.


Austin outgrew his bassinet. After I took this picture, I couldn't in good conscience keep him in there at night. Unfortunately the crib in Sally's room is the only alternative. Having two kids in the same room has been a trial, but we are figuring it out, one night at a time. Things are getting better.

Sally decided to kick the pull-ups (more like I decided to be done with them). She loves her undies and has had very few accidents in the past few months. She also loves her dress-up shoes and pretend-talking on the phone.


Sally loves Austin, and Austin seems to like Sally, as well.


Both kids are looking at the camera!


While pre-heating the oven for these cupcakes:


I melted Sally's plate in the oven (I often use the oven as a drying rack, and I thought I had removed everything). Imagine my surprise when I opened up the oven to see flourescent green slime!


We had a fun time as a family swimming at the local swimming pool. We love it when Neal has a day off and can go out and about together. Austin napped in the shade while Neal and I took turns swimming with Sally in the big pool. We'll definitely go again.



Sally discovered that Austin can fit in her baby stroller (please pardon the purple crib bumper--it was temporary until the blue one arrived in the mail). And no, she didn't put him in there. I did at her request.


I discovered that Austin can fit in a baby swing (and LOVES IT!). Going to the park is so much nicer now!


Austin discovered his toes (quite a while ago, actually, but I couldn't resist including this picture).


We got to spend the 4th of July together (and the 3rd and the 5th, too!). We had a breakfast with friends on the 3rd, went to church and then to Jim and Cookie's house for a bbq on the 4th, and went to the Legends and had our own picnic bbq in our family room while watching Toy Story 2 on the 5th. I was so excited for Neal to have a 3 day weekend. It was so refreshing. Our post-church 4th pictures turned out okay.



A few happenings of the last few months that are also of note:

Neal and I both got new callings. Neal is the Deacon's Quorum advisor and assistant Scout master, and I am the 1st counselor in the RS presidency.

Neal completed his intern year in internal medicine and is now being trained as an anesthesiologist. It was worth the wait (at least from my perspective). He doesn't have to work on weekends unless he is on call (which he will be every 9 days), which means...WE CAN GO TO CHURCH TOGETHER AGAIN! Also, no more short call, night float, or discharge summaries after he gets home!

Austin can almost crawl. He gets up on his knees and rocks back and forth. He's been rolling around for over a month now and can move himself pretty well without crawling, but he's ready to move onto bigger and better things. I'm excited but scared.

Sally can jump. Sally is quite a smart and capable little girl, but for some reason she had a very hard time learning to jump. She can now get both feet off of the floor simultaneously.

Kind of random, but I guess that is my blogging style these days. Until next time!

P.S. In case you don't know where the title of the previous post came from, it is from Nacho Libre.

Down to the nitty gritties

I haven’t blogged in quite a while, and this is not the type of post that I’ve been meaning to write. For the past month or so I feel like I’ve been in a rut. I don’t feel like I’m doing very well at any aspect in my life (especially motherhood), and I keep feeling the urge to be things that I’m not. So I decided to take a quick look at who I really am and what makes me tick. Without trying to hide anything or apologize for anything, here’s a peek into the real me.

I love baking and could easily bake all day long if I had the time (and if I didn’t have to do all of the dishes). When I see a new recipe that I want to try I look for any possible opportunity to make it. Oftentimes when I’m having a hard time sleeping at night I’m thinking about baking.

I love cooking—not as much as baking, but I love it nonetheless. Putting a good meal on the table brings me great satisfaction.

I love grocery shopping. I’m so excited each week when the ads come in the mail and I can plan what stores I’ll go to and what dishes I’ll be able to make. I get especially excited about sales on produce.

I love getting new things to wear, but rarely do. While not wanting to spend money is part of it, a large factor is that I don’t like shopping with my children and feel guilty getting a babysitter to go out shopping on my own. And I don’t enjoy online shopping for clothing. I get much more excited about grocery shopping than clothing shopping (and my children enjoy grocery shopping so much more), and thus my wardrobe suffers.

Guilt is a feeling I feel frequently. It is mostly related to my children in some way. I daily feel the need to be a more patient and accepting mother and to be more creative with my children.

I love to read, but don’t get to much these days. If I had the time I’d read many of the classics that I read in high school but that I didn’t fully appreciate at the time. “A Tale of Two Cities” is high on my list to re-read.

I am a dreamer. I love to dream about the house I will have someday, vacations that Neal and I will go on, meals that I’d like to make, desserts I’d like to bake, parties I’d like to have, things I’d like to own, etc. After we got married it took a while for Neal to get used to my love of dreaming and stop worrying that I was going to go out and spend a lot of money on things. I fear that at the end of my life I’ll find that I’ve done more dreaming than doing. I’m still trying to figure this out, but I think that for the most part fear of the unknown, feeling like I don’t deserve things, and my inborn thriftiness keep me from doing.

I love to play the piano and am so excited whenever I get a chance to play in church. I love accompanying, especially for choirs. I also enjoy playing the organ. I enjoyed being a ward organist (except for the part about it being hard for my children) and feel very badly that I didn’t do a better job in that calling while I had it (it wasn’t my primary calling, so I didn’t devote a lot of time to practice—to be quite honest, barely any time once Sally was born). Most of the time I didn’t play the pedals, and I did hardly any exploration with the stops to get different sounds for different hymns.

I am easily annoyed by sounds that people make unintentionally or without the intent to annoy—such as pen-clicking, lip-smacking, knuckle-cracking, humming, whistling, etc.

I love having parties with friends and family. I am always looking for any excuse to have a party or other get-together. I love planning, preparing food, and seeing people gather and interact, and, of course, eating. I’m still trying to figure out how to be more involved in socializing during my parties while being a good hostess and not ignoring my children. While I love having parties, I also get stressed out and worn out as a result, but these minor problems are far outweighed by the enjoyment I get from the overall experience.

I love serving people, especially if it involves preparing food.

I want to own a bed and breakfast, or a sandwich shop and bakery, someday.

I get great satisfaction out of having a clean house. For the most part I enjoy cleaning, but there are certain areas that I really struggle with. I hate washing windows (especially since Sally is always touching them and they never stay clean), I detest dusting blinds (I think 4 years of living in BYU student housing with cleaning checks every months requiring blind cleaning burned me out), and for some reason I have a really hard time getting around to vacuuming (I don’t have a ton of carpet at my house, and when there is not a sleeping child in the house there are toys on the floor being played with).

I am a confident person in that I have confidence in my ability to do most things I’d like to do, but I often feel insecure around other people and worry about what they think of me. This is in large part because I often put my foot in my mouth and tend to be too loud. It doesn’t help that I was an awkward child (or at least felt like one because I was always too tall, too serious, and had coke bottle glasses), I am naturally clumsy, and I have vivid memories about being teased for these reasons and more.

I struggle with disciplining my 2.5 year old daughter, and know that I need to lighten up. I have really high expectations for myself, which I tend to pass long to Sally, poor thing. I get easily annoyed about things that aren’t that big a deal. Sometimes I forget that she is only 2.5, and I fear that I’m not enjoying her childhood enough.

I have always had a fear of not being loved, and although I have a great marriage and two sweet kids, that fear remains. I know that I’m not great with teenagers, and I fear that Sally won’t like me in her teenage years. Silly fear, but it is there nonetheless.

I wish I were better at blogging, sending birthday cards on time (I don’t forget birthdays, I just struggle with sending things on time), taking pictures, planning activities to engage my daughter, staying in touch with my family and friends, and exercising.

I love to sing and want to be in the Motab someday.

I love being outside but don’t go outside much because 1) I get eaten alive every time I set foot outdoors, 2) I’m not quite sure what to do with Austin, 3) Sally has a way of getting filthy in a matter of seconds. I need to find away around these difficulties so I can take better care of my yard and garden and clean out my car (I have no garage, so this is an outside activity).

I’ve enjoyed living in Kansas City, but I long to live closer to the bulk of my family. I wish I lived closer to at least one of my sisters. Being close to some of Neal’s family partly fills the void, but the void remains and is particularly large around holidays.

I love to laugh and enjoy watching old comedies with Neal, especially movies with Doris Day and Rock Hudson or Cary Grant. I have kind of a silly sense of humor. I think the movie Nacho Libre is absolutely hilarious, and I often find myself laughing at it out of the blue. I don’t laugh as much as I used to and I’m not sure why. The burdens of being a wife and mother? Probably. I need to lighten up.

I need to go to bed. NOW.

All is Calm

It is 5:30 in the afternoon and both of my children are sleeping. It is so strange I almost don't know what to do with myself. Poor Sally has been sick all week and fell asleep in the car on the way back from the grocery store. I was surprised when she kept right on sleeping when I moved her into the house. She really needs this nap, though. I don't know how that girl keeps on going without naps, especially when she is sick and since she plays in her room at night after she has been put to bed AND she wakes up early (not terribly early, but earlier than she used to).

Austin has broken the silence. I suppose all good things have to come to an end.

P.S. for my friend Michelle: I did it--a quick, spontaneous post about what is happening in the here and now.