After posting my wish list yesterday, I started thinking what a silly thing I had done. It's chigger and mosquito season in Kansas, but I think that I've been bitten by a much more harmful bug--the greedy bug.
For some reason lately I've been thinking quite a bit about fairness--mostly in terms of thinking that life isn't being fair to me for one reason or another (as if life is supposed to be fair!). I have quite an imagination, and sometimes while I'm playing with Sally or doing some not-so-mind-stimulating household chore I'll let my imagination get away from me, thinking up all kinds of grand plans in my perfect world or, sadly enough, going over past experiences thinking of why I got the short end of the stick and how that could be changed. Last night as I was doing the dishes was such a time. I was thinking back to the time right after I got married and was whisked away to the strange land of the midwest away from family, friends, and all that was familiar to me. The question popped into my head: "What's in it for me?" (as a question I could have asked Neal at the time). That was a hard time for me. I was definitely happy being married to Neal, but I really didn't see that much of him as he was trying to keep his head above water as a first year medical student.
Thankfully that question popped into my head for a good reason--it is the title of an excellent talk given by Elder Faust in the Oct. 2002 General Conference. I read it today, and here are some of my favorite parts:
"Selfishness is one of the baser human traits, which must be subdued and overcome. We torture our souls when we focus on getting rather than giving."
"Elder William R. Bradford once said: “Of all influences that cause men to choose wrong, selfishness is undoubtedly the strongest. Where there is selfishness, the Spirit of the Lord is absent. Talents go unshared, the needs of the poor unfulfilled, the weak unstrengthened, the ignorant untaught, and the lost unrecovered.”"
"The Savior reminds us, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” One of life’s paradoxes is that a person who approaches everything with a what’s-in-it-for-me attitude may acquire money, property, and land, but in the end will lose the fulfillment and the happiness that a person enjoys who shares his talents and gifts generously with others."
I have a great life and even if I never get any of the things on my wish list it will still be great. I'm so glad that the Spirit can help us remember things to help keep us on track. At the beginning of this year I was talking to one of my friends about resolutions for 2009, and I told her that I wanted to be more generous. Generosity is roughly synonymous with unselfishness, so I'm obviously still working on it!
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3 comments:
while it's true that we can't take it with us, it's okay to seek out nice and beautiful things in life. i don't think we need to feel guilty when we buy beautiful new cars or nice plush carpet or whatever is on our wish list. think about church houses: they are not just utilitarian, but they are constructed with an eye for quality and beauty. i think our families deserve the same quality and beauty as our own pocketbooks can afford!
I think that is my biggest problem right now. You hit it right on the head! I just have had ZERO motivation to do anything and I think it's because I'm feeling so selfish! What's in it for me?! I will have to read through that talk myself.
And I also agree with Steph, that it is okay to enjoy some of the nice things as well... massages anyone??
Emily, you astound me. I feel that way sometimes too. That article sums it up, doesn't it?
A truck? Neal wants a truck?
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